We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
