So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
