I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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