dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize