used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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