Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
