I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
