idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
