Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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