Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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