dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
