I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
