and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize