To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
