she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
