it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
