Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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