I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
there was a trapeze. enough said
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
