my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
