Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
and you said cock pushups were impossible
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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