My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
