is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
