i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
