I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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