maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
So many bounce houses so little time
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
This couple is walking their pig around campus
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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