he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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