gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
