It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
