Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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