He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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