It's like God shit irony all over that family
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
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He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
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Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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