I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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