i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
