I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
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Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
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I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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