Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
