saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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