***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize