I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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