i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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