the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
