Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
