he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
