He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Randomize
