well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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