i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
