And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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