Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Christians are straight up FREAKS

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  (248): Christians are straight up FREAKS http://tfl.nu/h2ff
  Replies (53) Good night (3861) Bad night (2101)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.

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  (334): I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves. http://tfl.nu/rn3o
  Replies (41) Good night (12723) Bad night (1732)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator

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  (401): so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator http://tfl.nu/bvrd
  Replies (42) Good night (910) Bad night (7366)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever

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  (778): we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever http://tfl.nu/5buf
  Replies (8) Good night (4194) Bad night (981)
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  (212): View more from New York

  1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.

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  (212): 1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square. http://tfl.nu/c9pr
  Replies (4) Good night (2540) Bad night (1089)
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  (916): View more from California

  Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.

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  (916): Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours. http://tfl.nu/ckbp
  Replies (10) Good night (1912) Bad night (1128)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.

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  (970): Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose. http://tfl.nu/6jp2
  Replies (3) Good night (821) Bad night (1956)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS

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  (606): VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS http://tfl.nu/8cgs
  Replies (3) Good night (2502) Bad night (805)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?

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  (919): At what point would you like us to save you from yourself? http://tfl.nu/30aa
  Replies (3) Good night (2101) Bad night (832)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.

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  (810): She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room. http://tfl.nu/nven
  Replies (3) Good night (996) Bad night (1453)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday

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  (630): If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday http://tfl.nu/2qux
  Replies (1) Good night (1362) Bad night (581)
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  (310): View more from California

  Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets

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  (310): Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets http://tfl.nu/hmgm
  Replies (3) Good night (1864) Bad night (554)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.

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  (815): Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for. http://tfl.nu/bju4
  Replies (2) Good night (862) Bad night (376)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.

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  (317): Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions. http://tfl.nu/72j5
  Replies (2) Good night (781) Bad night (326)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now

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  (330): I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now http://tfl.nu/wo61
  Replies (1) Good night (499) Bad night (247)

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