Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear