Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.

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(516): View more from New York

Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside

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(970): View more from Colorado

How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(414): View more from Wisconsin

Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.

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(316): View more from Kansas

My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

you tipped EVERY employee at white castle

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?

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(602): View more from Arizona

why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan

(712): View more from Iowa

the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?

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