If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
