My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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