My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
