Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
