dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
