The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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