Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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