she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
