So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
