Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
