Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
