she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
